I just want there to be food without me having to cook or clean or pay. Is that really too much to ask?
Whenever I worry if I’m being a good mom or not I remind myself that someone out there named their kid Abcde so the bar is like, really low
If GMOs can make hundred pound tomatoes why don’t I have a pet teacup elephant yet?
I don’t bully strangers on the internet because I’m too busy making fun of the people I know irl
Clarissa didn’t explain this at all
I’ve stopped checking my bank account because ignorance is bliss and I deserve to be happy
My husband proposed two days after Valentine’s day so that every year he could get me discounted flowers and chocolates on the anniversary instead of the holiday