A website for religious potato chip lovers…Christian Pringle.
I was holding the door for an Asian guy and he said “sank you.” So I punched him. Cant believe that he brought up Pearl Harbor lke that
Wife: I finally caught you. I could hear it from the other room. You were watching a dirty movie. Me: No. Its just womens tennis.
Hey, your parents conceived you the same year my parents conceived me, let us be friends! High school is stupid.
“To hell with it, thats good enough.” – every person after theyve ever tried to iron a shirt. Ever.
If I would brush my teeth as vigorously as the people in the toothpaste commercials do, my sink would look like a murder scene.
Sober me will always have your back.Drunk me will convince you to get a tattoo of a unicorn doing a dolphin over a rainbow on your back.
You people that are getting laid regularly either need to keep that stuff to yourselves or be more descriptive.
For eggplant your guests will love, lightly brush with olive oil, toss in the air and blast that bad boy with your ankle piece.
“I love Justin Bieber” well I love McDonalds but you dont see me making an account pretending to be a chicken nugget, do you?
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.
I thought eyelashes were meant to keep stuff out of my eye, but half the time if theres anything in my eye its a damn eyelash.
I will die on a white floor just to mess with the chalk outline guy.
Wanna know the secret to a good marriage? Sleep. Cant do anything wrong while sleeping. Unless you talk in your sleep, then youre dead.