@smiles_and_nods

Google Maps: You are currently on the fastest route. Your arrival time is estimated at 2 hours 15 minutes.

*Prius pulls in front of me

Your arrival time is estimated at 6 hours 30 minutes.

@smiles_and_nods

I asked my husband to play bagpipes at my funeral so I can be happy that I’m dead.

@smiles_and_nods

Husband and I are both interested in doing 23 and Me to locate our real families. Neither of us was adopted, we just can’t believe we’re related to any of these people.

@smiles_and_nods

Shout out to all the parents who volunteered to take care of the class snake over the weekend — last March.