Looks the same on the way in, as it does on the way out
I’m no expert on bangs but I assume they’re not supposed to make you look like you have a raccoon stapled to your forehead
*orders delivery*
This is my main handbag, and this is the handbag I have to fit everything that doesn’t fit in my main handbag
You know when you use hedge trimmers but can quite get the line straight so keep cutting more and more till there’s not a lot left?
Anyway, 10 now has a short haircut
I kinda feel like everyone shakes their head a little too much when they see me coming
Got sent to HR for impersonating a fire alarm during a staff meeting again
Same pineapple, same
…anyway I thought that piece of hair was a spider on my shirt
Me, explaining why I ended up naked in Walmart
Me: honey, want anything from the grocery store
Him: I feel like grapes but I don’t really like grapes
Me: say no more
Apparently you can be asked to leave the courtroom if you fall off your chair too many times
20s: break dances in bar with traffic cone on head
30s: tries to walk in heels without breaking ankle
40s: yawns too hard and breaks rib
So sick of all these stupid rules
Me: gets up, wakes kids, empties dishwasher, makes lunches, helps make kid beds, does kids’ hair, makes breakfast for everyone, showers, makes coffee, does laundry
Hubs:
But I really needed water water water
