Forgot I started my stopwatch. It’s now been 139:27.05 since I wondered how long it takes me to run five miles.
Maybe my grandma stayed married for 50 yrs because she never said stuff like “I just wish he would support me, you know, creatively.”
The best part about talking to a narcissist is how there isn’t any pressure to add to the conversation.
Anyone who says living well is the best revenge has clearly never relocated a bat colony while their enemy was at work.
“It’s not what it looks like,” I say to the bunny noticing my slippers.
Hello, pest control? Yes, I have these noisy little critters. They got into the snacks, made a mess of the place and keep calling me mom.
“Waiter, I’d like to send this back”
-m’am, I believe that’s your husband.
Arguing w him is like playing Pictionary w/ the person who draws one weird little shape and just keeps circling it over and over and over.
Didn’t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.