Judge: how do you plead?
Me: like this 🙏
Genie: you have three wishes.
Me: i want a million wishes.
Genie: oh you’re one of those. Hey Jim! Come on out front! We’ve got one of those back again!
me: tries to sleep.
clock: i think i’m going to karaoke in Morse code now.
Water: can you do me a solid?
God: sure *turns it into ice*
Whales are just primitive elephants that walked into the ocean and then kept walking.