me: how would you like the steak sir
sir: well done
me: thank you but how would you like the steak
me: *filling up my car with gas*
guy next to me: the gas is supposed to go in the tank
me, pulling the pump out of the window: i don’t own a tank i only have this car
[answering my shoe like a phone] hold on i can’t hear you let me put you on sneaker
[holds out handful of sliced cheese]
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