My husband is on the roof – only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.
According to the 2nd law of thermodynamics, when parents relax, children must increase the amount of disorder in the universe to compensate.
I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!
5: I cleaned my room.
Me: Great! Do you feel good? Sometimes it makes me feel good when I clean something.
5: No. Next time you can do it.
I grounded my kid from electronics for a week and now he won’t stop talking to me and I think I’ve made a horrible mistake.
5: “Mommy why not?”
Me: “Because you’re driving me crazy.”
5: “How?”
5: “How?”
5: “How?”
5: “How?”
5: “How?”
5: “How?”
5: “How?”
5: “How?”
Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, “Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons.”