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@superdadatron : I'm testing my theory that I can get away with putting a 0 or N/A in a work report that requires answers when I don't know the answers.
@superdadatron: *Opens fridge
*Sees chocolate bar with a note "please don't eat me".
*Eats chocolate bar
Now who would want to eat a piece of paper?
@superdadatron: Are there any rules for lending your kids out as migrant workers?
@superdadatron: My wife is in a bad mood. I think her boyfriend forgot their anniversary. Way to go, dude. Now we all suffer...
@superdadatron: I'll stab someone if they hurt my kids. Or touch my nachos.
@superdadatron: Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don't know where I am.
@superdadatron: Hope you don't mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
@superdadatron: Wife leaves: Ok.
Wifi leaves: NOOOOOOOOOO. I can change!
@superdadatron: Lies I'll never stop telling:
1. I'd never put you in a home, mom.
2. It's 6 inches long.
3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus.
@superdadatron: I'm gonna cook tons of bacon, crush it up and sell it for extra money to support my family.