I know they took some creative liberties with ‘Noah’ but I really wasn’t expecting that Prius.
Is the Paleo diet the one where you only eat dinosaurs?
This guy on GMA is thanking God b/c he survived 2 plane crashes. I’m pretty sure “God” is trying to kill him.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
“Let’s just kill ALL the characters”
-Game of Thrones
Officer: do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: pass
Officer: have you been drinking?
Me: pass
Officer: You can’t just keep..
Me: pass
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
Sorry I was cleaning my phone screen and accidentally took 37 selfies.
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a “judgment free” zone…unless we’re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
I wanna go out
I wanna come in
I wanna go out
I wanna come in
I wanna go out
I wanna come in-My dog, all day long.
Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party.
I wonder how many of these NSA agents have a crush on me.
I like to drink while I clean and that’s how I found out what Febreze tastes like.
My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don’t have to shovel snow this weekend.
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2014.