I did not eat the cake…
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
#HatDadJoke
I’m so jealous that I did not write this pun!!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
#HatDadJoke
Stranger: Twitter is awful.
Me: It really isn’t most people are nice.
Stranger: But there are bad people…
Me: Sure, I just block them.
Stranger: See…there…you can’t do that in RL.
Me: Yes, you can….watch….(walks away from them).
1) Worms have no bones.
2) Gummi worms are made of gelatin.
3) Gelatin is often made of bones.
4) Gummi worms have more bones than real worms.
Your dad’s grandpa is also your grandpa’s dad.
I’d love this before and after shot…lol
Cats playing poker makes more sense. Dog’s tails would be a tell.
Why do they report on the hurricane by standing in the middle of the hurricane?
When there’s a house fire, no one reports on it from inside the house.
Yup….perfect score!
True?
Technically, iPhone chargers are apple juice.
If someone sits too close to me on a bench, I stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”
The real walk of shame is when you take all the cups and plates you’ve been hoarding in your room down to the kitchen.