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Page of thatUPSdude's best tweets

@thatUPSdude : Jim was never known for sharing

@thatUPSdude: Steve: Some people call me the space cowboy.

Steve's friends: We apologize for our friend, we actually just call him Steve.

@thatUPSdude: Oh shit I thought the sliding glass door was closed! Help help!!

@thatUPSdude: When I said I was going to start eating better after the holidays, I was thinking more like after Easter.

@thatUPSdude: Thanksgiving,

A time gather around with your family, and realize why you only allow them in your house once a year.

@thatUPSdude: Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy alcohol. And I’m a happy drunk.

@thatUPSdude: Me: So which one do you like? I like this one with the ocean in the background

DMV: For the last time sir, you can't submit your own photo

@thatUPSdude: *at a casino*

Me: How much are these chips worth?

Dealer: Sir those are Pringles

@thatUPSdude: Me: What are these red chips worth?

Dealer: 5 bucks.

Me: What about this orange one?

Dealer: Sir, that's a Dorito.

@thatUPSdude: Me: I need to go

Tequila: No stay, have a couple more

Me: I need to go to bed

Tequila: Shhhh just sleep on the floor, I got you