A couple drops of super glue on your fingers and you wont pay attention to any other thing on the planet for three hours.
No thanks, newborn babies of literally any species on planet Earth.
Come back when you’re less pink & rubbery & can loan me thirty dollars.
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives.
I’ll decide what is “fresh” and “natural” and “like a real girl” thank you very much
I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
Spoiler alert: Your ’97 Nissan Sentra doesn’t need one.
Maybe if Red Bull gave me buffalo wings i’d give a shit.
I’m thinking about getting an arm tattooed on my snake.
I’m hiring a motivational speaker for my lazy eye.
Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas.
Roses are red,
except for all of the other colors of roses that have been in existence for thousands of years. Those are different colors.