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Page of the_hawlk's best tweets

@the_hawlk : Ther are two microwaves in my office kitchen, one is for exploding lasagnas and the other one is for exploding other different lasagnas

@the_hawlk: TEACHER: what's your favorite color?
ME: my favorite color is turkwoyse
TEACHER: spell it
ME: actually my favorite color is red

@the_hawlk: "i used to live in india, now I live in indiana"

"is there a difference?"

"na"

@the_hawlk: SECURITY GUARD: "Sir, I have to check all backpacks"
ME: "ok"
*opens backpack*
*its full of hundreds of tiny backpacks*