Husband getting dressed:
Me: Purple and green don’t go together.
Husband: It works for the Joker.
Me: My point exactly.
My husband and I play this game where we buy potato chips the other one doesn’t like so we don’t have to share.
When life gives me lemons, I make lemon meringue pie..because lemonade is for amateurs…& because I’m gay..& we always take it up a notch.
Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Gays are definitely from Saturn. You know the only planet chic enough to accessorize with a belt.
When you open your heart to someone, there is blood. Lots and lots of blood. And then you die. So don’t open your heart.