I have no fear of my family pulling the plug on me if I ever go on life support because I know how much they love wasting electricity
If I ever lose my girlfriend in the mall I just start checking other girls out and bam there she is yelling at me
Me: I generally dislike myself as a person but I also assume everyone I know has a crush on me
Interviewer: a job-related weakness…
lol no thanks my tires rotate themselves every day