*falls from grace*
According to HR, putting a middle finger emoji at the end of my auto-reply before going on vacation, is apparently not acceptable.
Just hear me out, a blood oath, but with melted cheese.
[on a first date in a restaurant]
him: so what did you do last weekend?
me: I binge watched one of my favourite Netflix shows.
him: binge watched? haha, I can’t ever watch more than one episode at a time
me: lmao! *turns round* CHECK, PLEASE!
Mum: Oh I’ve always wanted to try one of these , *leans in* Alexa, what’s your name?
Me: Hello darkness, my old friend
Darkness: *rolls eyes*