Mum: Oh I’ve always wanted to try one of these , *leans in* Alexa, what’s your name?
Me:
Me: Hello darkness, my old friend
Darkness: *rolls eyes*
I just gave my cat a bath.
Your move Satan.
If couples who are in love are called love birds, then really, couples who always fight should be called angry birds!
My spirit animal just ran into a glass door.