“Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey.
But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
The Indian restaurant I work for is so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn’t share the flatbread recipe
Just their standard naan disclosure agreement
I pirated a movie yesterday…
I gave it 3.14 stars.
I saw a guy and a girl doing high fives in a chemistry lab
and I thought, “wow they be bonding.”
Me: And this is my house
Friend: What’s upstairs?
Me: Stairs don’t talk.
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.
I said it must be my weekend immune system.
Anyone who ever worked at Twitter…
Is now either an ex-employee or an X employee.
Always trust a glue salesman…
They tend to stick to their word.
I was walking down the street where the houses were numbered, 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k, and 1MB.
That was a trip down memory lane
Interviewer: I want to ask you a question, and your answer must be quick.
Me: Okay.
Interviewer: 12 + 37 = ?
Me: Quick
Wanna hear a joke?
Sleep.
I know, I don’t get it either.
Every morning after I get out of the house, a bike comes out of nowhere and runs me over.
It’s a vicious cycle.
Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion.
They said he’ll be given a tough sentence.