I wear a ski mask wherever I go but only rob ski resorts. It’s quite ingenious really. Let me explain…
[job interview]
Me: Time travel
Boss: What is your biggest stren—WHAT?!
[job interview]
Boss: What qualifies you to be a ninja?
Ninja: I just cut your head off.
Boss: That’s pr–*thump*
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
[Scientific Conference]
Scientist 1: So science?
Scientist 2: *nodding* Science.
“I set all the cattle free.”
– Reverse Cowgirl
[Catwoman’s Lair]
Robin: I hear someone.
Batman: Lets’s hide in this sandpit.
{5 min later}
R: This is a litter box isn’t it?
B: I think so.
Man: You’ve been very loyal but it’s best we part ways
Dog: I don’t understand. What’s the problem?
Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out.
[Hall of Justice]
Aquaman: How do you expect me to ignite the TNT below Kaiser’s floating fortress?
Waterproof Match Man: Maybe I can help.