“Creation science” has the same intellectual heft as “dragon anatomy”.
Home is where the Wi-Fi is.
Jesus was the original child star who fell in with the wrong crowd and died young.
It’s not that he liked big butts; it’s that he could not lie. THAT’S why Sir Mix-a-Lot deserved his knighthood.
Earth was the first world I created. It has all kinds of problems. #firstworldproblems
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.” – A man who owned other men.
If you had more money you’d be happier.
Sometimes Jesus asks himself, “What would some self-righteous hypocrite do?”
Priests should not have to live in a state of forced celibacy, but be free to marry and let celibacy slowly descend upon them the usual way.
People often say things in the heat of anger that in hindsight they regret not accompanying with a punch in the face.
Ancient cryptic thrice-translated self-contradictory texts are the best way to convey moral precepts.
Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later.
CNN just wondered if I’m sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I’m sending them to punish you for CNN.
Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years.
Instead of looking for things that divide you look for things that bring you together, like the way you all look for things that divide you.