I just bought one share of stock. I’m a finance bro now.
As a tall girl, spending less time on Twitter was a business decision that I made after discovering that my arms have a longer reach than my tweets.
I made a ton of jokes about swine flu, but then I got swine flu. And as they rushed me to the hospital, I honestly thought I was going to die. So I used what little energy I had left to send this final text to a friend: “Make sure they serve pork at my funeral.”
Sure sex is great and all but have you ever watched someone trip over a curb while getting out of a Bentley?
Do you think Sarah Sanders’ husband calls her “the colonel” when they eat fried chicken in bed?