When I ask a tall person to reach something in a public place, what I really wish they’d do is pick me up so I can reach it myself.
If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”
Whenever I put on makeup, I do a sign of the cross on my forehead with my foundation and I’ll tell myself “Bless this mess.”
I made the mistake of meeting one of my cat’s demands and now he has more.