On a scale of 1 to girl who just got back from a semester abroad in Europe, how annoying are you?
Don’t give your heart to someone unless you’re 100% certain that you’re dead.
take me down to the paranoid city where the grass is hidden cameras and the girls are all talking about me.
If your Facebook picture is a photo of a sunset or something inanimate, I’ll assume you have a dissociative identity disorder.
If you want to know what a girl will look like in 30 years, stop talking to her and show up to her house in 30 years to check on her.
Man who looks forward to spending his entire life with Kim Kardashian disagrees with Grammy decision.
So many mixed messages in the media. Titanic tells us “never let go.” Frozen says “let it go.” Smdh
Posing with your cat to attract men is like posing with your cat to attract men,
The leading method of suicide in Albania is attempting to kidnap Liam Neeson’s daughter.
Sir. Your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
dam girl
Any sink has a garbage disposal if you push hard enough.
Girls get so turned on when you take charge. Grab her hair and tell her she needs a shampoo with no harsh sulfates and a new lip stain.
One fist-bump from a cool black dude is worth 5 years of my parents loving me.
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.