My subconscious wants Thai food but my inner goddess wants pizza.
Never watch porn when you’re tripping. You’ll zero in on the sad eyes and start to see a kaleidoscope of missed dance recitals and pain.
I would rather weave a suit out of my grandfather’s pubic hair than “pull an all-nighter” with you.
I would rather weave a suit out of my grandfather’s pubic hair than “pull an all-nighter” with you.
I would rather weave a suit out of my grandfather’s pubic hair than “pull an all-nighter” with you.
It’s not a dog if it fits in your handbag.
It’s not a dog if it fits in your handbag.
Why are the states most in need of abortion so against it?
Nothing says “thought of you, and masturbated” like ‘liking’ a girl’s Facebook photo from 2009.
Nothing says “thought of you, and masturbated” like ‘liking’ a girl’s Facebook photo from 2009.
Walmart is always a good place to see someone in the process of hitting their child.
Any time a sentence starts with “This is America!” brace your ears for some next level ignorant shit.
If eHarmony were honest, it would pair some people with a room full of cats.
Filming my own version of “Taken” using cats. My cat will play Liam Neeson and the red dot from a laser pointer is his daughter.