Only thing I miss about life prior to this pandemic is going to people’s houses just to eat their food and then immediately leave
It’s not a gang sign, I just have rheumatoid arthritis
Was driving to a doctor’s appointment and ended up at my favorite donut shop so life does find a way
How the hell is Arby’s still in business? In nearly 37 years I’ve never heard, “Let’s go to Arby’s.”
Dude just told me that he’s washing his hands more because of that “Coca-Cola virus.”
Feels like the fourth month in January
I can’t watch movies made before 1998 because the gas prices in the background of scenes make me too angry
Me trying to reach for my goals
I hum “Eye of the Tiger” when I have to stand-up from a low couch
Some of y’all expect more from a retail employee than of your elected officials
I’m not even opening the door for kids dressed as police for Halloween
I hate these new video games that make you talk to other characters. The fact I hate conversations is the reason I’m playing video games.
Kids these days won’t get the trauma of passing notes in class and hoping nobody reads it until it reaches the recipient.
Pedestrians cross the street like it’s on their bucket list to get hit
Don’t give people who sneeze loudly the attention they crave.