My husband got me a really sweet card for our anniversary. I read the whole way through, and the very last part says “happy birthday” 😂
He was so close.
Hubs said we should only drink one night a week…. But he didn’t say anything about the day 😜 #sundayfunday
My husband brought home a big box of “12 festive cheeses”. I don’t know if he’s trying to turn me on, but it’s working.
Rompers are cute and all until you have to pee in a public bathroom. There’s no cute way to execute that. You’re now in an episode of naked and afraid.
What essential oil do you use to make your teenagers calm down? Is it chloroform?
I just referred to a toothpick as “one of those stabby things” sooooo no more dateline for me.
I’m not saying I’m a hero, but I did just give a bottle of wine mouth to mouth.
It didn’t make it.
My daughter just said, “I love you Mommy, you are beautiful like a pizza” and now I’m crying because that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
A moment of silence please for the bottle of wine I just dropped.
It was a tragic accident.
Gone too soon.
People that don’t have dogs, how do you clean up the food that’s dropped on the floor?