@trouteyes

Policeman: Name please
Iggy Pop: Iggy Pop
Policeman: Your FULL name
Iggy Pop: (Quietly) Ignatius Poppadom

@trouteyes

BREAKING: A man who took British Airways to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.

@trouteyes

Policeman: Name please?
Woman: Cheryl Cole
Policeman: Your FULL name
Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw

@trouteyes

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
No mate, sounds shit.