Look lady I don’t need yours or anybody’s help in looking foolish okay?
Received DM of the day:
Them: Why are you so angry?
Me: Why are you so stupid?
Her: Your ego is kind of inflated isn’t it
Me: Not really. It’s always been this big
She brings out the best in me and there’s just no way I’m putting up with that
Your tweets remind me of a Rubik’s Cube. I can’t figure those out either
Someday I’m gonna miss this place. I can’t wait for that day
That moment of sheer panic when you’re wrist deep in the Pringles can, and you begin rehearsing your story for the ER attendant.
Me: Is it open casket?
Friend: It’s a wedding!
Me: Oh god nobody wants to see that
Just got blocked by a longtime friend here and I’m trying to get over it
I’m over it
Her: I’m putting you in the dead zone
Me: Lol you mean the friend zone