@turboescortdude

3 y/o: I want a bagel
Me: We don’t have any
3 y/o: You’re a idiot
Me: How did you survive your abortion

@turboescortdude

Hey babies, I can do 12 push-ups. Impressed? Doap. Typo, meant babes. Impressed? No? Oh. Well then. Impressed babies?