Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of tweetsvisual's best tweets

@tweetsvisual : *spills one drop of maple syrup

(entire house is sticky for the next decade)

@tweetsvisual: Him: You're so good to me. I don't deserve you.

Her: Know what? You're right. Pack your shit.

@tweetsvisual: I built a Snowman on my stomach and now I have an abdominal Snowman.

@tweetsvisual: Camping and I have a lot in common. For starters, we are both stupid.

@tweetsvisual: I like a good strong woman. But I prefer them not to be named Olga and bench press me in front of my friends.

@tweetsvisual: I need some sun on this skin. I'm starting to look whiter than a Fleetwood Mac concert.

@tweetsvisual: This week on Twitter, i have talked to a cartoon bunny, a baby duck, a platypus that only speaks in haiku, tons of catfish and a chicken in a fox suit. So don't tell me these drugs aren't working.

@tweetsvisual: Arugala is my favorite vegetable that sounds like it's drowning.

@tweetsvisual: I don't like the word 'scampi'. It sounds like seafood that's trying to run away.