Essential oils? You mean WD40?
Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently you can say literally anything there
My rapper alter ego is “lil green onion” because I’m a rapscallion
Never once has a guy said, “She’s cute but I wish her eyelashes would be so big they’d weigh down her eyelids”
I’m not in my prime, I’m in my amazon prime. You’ll get what you want from me about 2 days after you ask for it.
My kid dropped an entire glass of cranberry juice and now he knows how hard it’d be to cover up a murder
My wife wouldn’t let me sling shot candy at trick or treaters tonight.
This is bullshit.