“The Mystery of the Chewed Shoe” was easily solved when one of the two primary suspects folded under the strain of interrogation.
Years ago, I worked for a company that sold sandwiches in airports. I once got a complaint email that someone’s chicken cordon bleu sandwich was missing the chicken. I replied that “cordon bleu” was French for “not there”, and I haven’t felt that level of job satisfaction since.
The odds of being murdered by a chicken are low, but never zero.
FRIEND:
If you could be there for one moment in time that you’ve only read about in books, or seen in pictures, what would it be? I would have liked to be at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. How about you?ME:
Hold on, I’ll show you.
me, waiting for the doctor on the exam table
to be perfectly honest, loose dogs seem like the lesser issue here
“When I tell you that it’s time to get out of the pool, it means that it’s time to get out of the pool.”
It looks like someone put their IKEA Güsen together wrong.
To know your enemy, you must become your enemy.
“C’mon man, just as far as Cincinnati. I got a cousin there.”
Meowchelangelo
Proctology is located in A55
looks like the dishwasher has a nice side hustle going
“Can I help you?”
“Please communicate my desire to open a dialogue with the ownership of this establishment regarding the possible procurement of gainful employment as promulgated by the advertisement affixed to the portal.”
“So, you’re here about the job?”
“Most indubitably.”
FINE, I WON’T.
