whenever someone i know introduces me to someone else i say, “oh, this is the one u were talking about” &watch the awkward stares!
Finally goes to open-mic night. gets on stage. bombs so badly gets arrested for terrorism. #BucketListFails
Met this chinese guy with the surname Shen. His name’s Eric. As in Eric Shen. Have him for more than 4hours, call a doctor!
if a pea-brain is someone with a small brain, then a peacock is someone with a …? no?
Every time i tell people i want to be a comedian they laugh. See, im that good!!
Sometimes i think my life sucks. Then i look at the lives of others. Then it hits me. My life does suck!!