Love is taking a picture of your husband holding up a fish at the fish market
– my wife: I’m not doing that
Can’t we just sew all of the candidates together & have the first multi-headed president?
said in every police drama ever
– her parents are coming down from Wisconsin
Bringing them to the yard is easy
– bear traps will keep em’ there
Boycotting the Winter Olympics because it’s too frickin’ cold.
🎶I Heard Mommy Screaming at Santa Claus🎶
– assembling my bike… I was about 6
To keep track of us all in the 50’s mom just hung us up on the clothes line.
I just stopped by to water my horse.
*Salt-Free Chocolate Covered Potato Chips*
My Wife… The Bargain Hunter
My wife after pulling weeds… I want a goat
I always take my fingers out of my ears & clap after each karaoke song performance.
Fights fire with marshmallows