It might be time to diet when you ask Siri to call your ” boyfriend” and she dial’s up Domino’s pizza
Apparently you can’t just drop your ex off at the morgue just cause they are dead to you.
Before company arrives we like to clean our house so there’s no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other 364 days of the year!
Fight club but just dueling neighbor’s aggressively leaf blowing leaves onto each other’s lawns.
My boyfriend and I are into role playing-I pretend to be hotter and skinnier and he pretends not to be a Nigerian teen in an Internet cafe .
I’m smarter than I look. I was gonna say -more intelligenter- but wasn’t sure how to spell it so…