@wesjohnson8

My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.

@wesjohnson8

62% of swimmers say they pee in the ocean……. now you know why SpongeBob is yellow.

@wesjohnson8

It was awkward when she said, “And yet your feet are so big.”

@wesjohnson8

“What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?” Officer, “Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle.”

@wesjohnson8

When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn’t doing the same thing.

@wesjohnson8

Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, “Why didn’t you keep them when you took their picture?”

@wesjohnson8

The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don’t think they’re funny, & nobody else thinks they’re jokes.