My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
62% of swimmers say they pee in the ocean……. now you know why SpongeBob is yellow.
It was awkward when she said, “And yet your feet are so big.”
Dreaming you’re peeing can be a very dangerous dream.
“What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?” Officer, “Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle.”
When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn’t doing the same thing.
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.
Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, “Why didn’t you keep them when you took their picture?”
The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don’t think they’re funny, & nobody else thinks they’re jokes.