me: I really can’t stay
him: but, baby it’s-
me: *tail lights*
art teacher: is that a bird or a plane
young clark kent: *crumples self portrait*
him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here
me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news
usher: bride or groom
me: just a guest
usher: no which are you here for
me: neither I’m married
cashier: paper or plastic
me: it’s a debit card
cashier: no for your milk
me: oh haha liquid’s fine
dad: where do you think you’re going
me: *caught applying for an art history degree* uh nowhere?
*clicks open my pocket watch with a glance before snapping it shut* as suspected I still cannot tell time
me, as a child: I beat all my sisters at hide and seek today!
my dad: that’s good, but your brother Daniel is the reigning champ
me: who
me: hey i noticed you always sit alone wanna find a seat together?
bus driver: can’t but thanks
*five little monkeys jumping on the bed*
mama: stop that!
monkeys: why hahaha
mama: *quietly* there used to be six of you
him: you’re obsessed with the Flintstones
me *totally broke, struggling to use a chipmunk to open a can* haha yes
kid that threw a ball into my yard: hey give it back
me: *hugging his dog* no
me, holding a banana pretending to talk on the phone: haha it’s for you
daughter: no I have my own banana
me: haha I know but its like a phone
daughter: how
cashier: how’d you like to pay for this
me: not at all
him, leaving for work: we still need to talk about your soap opera addiction
me: *walks away and stares out the window as the rain starts to fall* just go