Deli counter guy told me bad things happen in 3’s after he dropped his phone and bumped his head, so I complained about him to management.
4: *hops in my lap* Mama, look at my picture!
Me: Love it
4: See green
M: Yep
4: And blue
M: Mmhm
4: And red
M: *flushes toilet* ok, hop up.
Me: Do you want to meet your sisters at the bus stop?
5: *doesn’t look up* I already know them.
My signature move at family dinners is waiting for someone to put their drink down at the table & then moving it when they go to the buffet.
I’m not saying four kids is too many, I’m just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that’s all.
When driving: *shakes fist at pedestrians*
When walking: *shakes fist at motorists*
When running: *shakes fist at the murderer chasing me*
If there is an opportunity for me to put my pants on backwards in the dark, I take it every time. Apparently.
Don’t try to sell a membership to the president of the fan club.
It’s World Breastfeeding Week and, honestly, babies need to eat more often than that.
Interviewer: Do you plan on having children?
Me: I have four, why start now?
Why is it called her “time of the month” and not “trouble in paradise?”
Interviewer: When were you most satisfied at your last job?
Me: After lunch, next question.
Math is like my parenting. I do it when I have to, but I’m not great at it.
Her: How do you do it w/ 4 kids?
Hubs: With the door locked.
Me: She means how do we manage…but yeah.
10: Can we go to the adoption store and pick up a new baby?
Me: Sweet girl, Mama has 4 kids. If we go right now it’s probably to drop off.