If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen
If asked at a job interview “what’s your biggest weakness”, test their tolerance for honesty by replying “mortality”
Make your own bacon by tricking a pig into running headlong through a harp.
That awkward moment when you lazily follow someone cos of 1 funny joke, then realize all the rest of their stuff is KKK recruitment material
My wife has just come home and asked how things went with the baby. Now in mild panic mode as I thought she took the baby along with her