You don’t really appreciate a Chinese Spy Balloon until it’s gone.
No one wants to publish my erratic fiction.
I’d go to Mastodon, but I have zero dinosaur jokes.
You ever come home early from work and Alexa sounds disappointed?
Hear me out. Cauliflower made out of pizza crust.
Had to turn the heat on this morning, so of course I’ve started playing Christmas music.
I’ll probably stop watching “The Crown,” now that I know how it ends.
It’s not “Quiet Quitting” if you won’t shut up about it.
I bet that new show goes through dragon handlers pretty quickly.
Serious talk at the office of replacing me with a hairless cat.
My refrigerator died. In lieu of flowers, a new fridge would be nice.
I was the only one wearing a mask in the supermarket this morning, so I made everyone empty their pockets.
The worst thing about switching from Android to an iPhone is the almond milk.
“What?”
– Jude
When I see an Olympic figure skater fall down, I feel represented.