Please don’t interrupt me and my frozen daiquiri while we are outside having an important drunk conversation with the roll of toilet paper that we met in the bathroom.
Thank you
It’s all fun and games until the music playing over the dept store intercom gets to the lift part in Dirty Dancing, but the mannequin with no arms that you’ve been dancing with doesn’t catch you.
Really bruh?
It’s “Bring Your Kids To Work Day” and all my cats are fighting in the break room.
Relationship Status: Just asked the bag of Doritos laying in bed next to me if they had enough room
I sleep with a knife under my pillow just in case someone breaks in my house with cake.