How am I supposed to “act my age” when I’ve never been this age before now?
Do you ever eat an individual-sized bag of chips and wonder what kind of “individual” only eats seven chips?
Me: That Febreze smells like Fireball.
Wife: Yeah, non-alcoholics call that cinnamon.
Fun fact: Taking a box of condoms to the pharmacist’s window and asking for the fitting room will get you thrown out of Target.