Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of wolfpupy's best tweets

@wolfpupy : you don't need to go to a workshop to build a bear, most of the time you don't even need to build a bear.

@wolfpupy: if you don't respond to my email when i am alive don't expect me to reply to your ouija board questions when i am dead.

@wolfpupy: people are attacking at me with pitchforks simply because i choose to lay still under piles of hay, straw, and leaves at times.

@wolfpupy: been feeling trapped ever since i investigated that box propped up by a stick.

@wolfpupy: if they didn't want me to take the coins off a dead man's eyes they would have moved the gumball machine further away.

@wolfpupy: we are always told "don't eat the cookies that are cooling on the tray" and then "don't eat the cookies that are in the jar" the loophole in this system is to eat the cookies while they are still baking in the oven.

@wolfpupy: jewelry making tip: a simple can of gold spraypaint can turn a chicken nugget into a gold nugget

@wolfpupy: you'd think someone who calls themselves a rat-catcher by trade would be more prepared for having a rat thrown at them, just goes to show people aren't always who they say they are.

@wolfpupy: making internet enemies is a lot easier than making internet friends but i guess it does keep the curse protection talisman industry alive.

@wolfpupy: occult darling Dracula needs to get a grip. having his own dirt shipped in to sleep on, what a piece of shit. me, i'll sleep on any dirt