you’d think someone who calls themselves a rat-catcher by trade would be more prepared for having a rat thrown at them, just goes to show people aren’t always who they say they are.
occult darling Dracula needs to get a grip. having his own dirt shipped in to sleep on, what a piece of shit. me, i’ll sleep on any dirt
next time you hear The Boys Are Back In Town think of me, the unsung hero, who chases the boys out of town with a broom
[the ghost of christmas future points at my grave] finally im dead [i lay down in the grave] stop kicking me ghost im not learning anything
i will be the first to admit when something is my fault, it really undercuts the other people blaming me for things
why would someone leave a hollowed out pumpkin on their front porch if they didnt want me living in it
you couldn’t be more wrong, i on the other hand could be far more wrong due to my incredibly vast stupidity
life is a continuous learning experience, so i can spend all my time not paying attention and drawing cartoons on notepaper just like school
[david attenborough voice] wolves, also known as nature’s best animal, have been cool for hundreds of thousands of years
a good captain goes down with the ship, i personally don’t need a professional obligation to sink to the bottom of the ocean, i just do it
if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank
thinking about eating a lot of candy. which i have obtained legaly, through the trick or treat system, for many years