I love all my children equally, I steal the same number of fries from each one
Church: time to come back
Me with 3 small boys: Well, OK
Church: not you
Appliance salesman: *slaps roof of microwave*
this bad boy can fit so many waves in it
My son told me he used “air conditioner” in the shower so now I guess he has…cool hair.
Parenting pro-tip: don’t own nice shit.
So my 5 year old’s stuffed owl and his stuffed mouse are best friends, and I don’t know how to break the news to him…