Nobody in this grocery store thinks I’m a good bowler. Also, clean up in aisle four.
Sir, I cannot take you seriously. You’re wearing capris. Capris. CAPRIS.
If I did the math right, 8 of you are serial killers and 1,246 of you are eating Nutella.
What did I do before Twitter? Well, there’s my family and……OH MY GOD WHERE’S MY FAMILY?!?!
Define “no more Twitter or I will leave you.”