Villain: We meet again, Mr. Bond
Bond: You don’t remember my 1st name do you
Villain: Sure I do. It’s uh..
Bond: C’mon this is our 3rd fight

You Might Also Like


People already feel judged in public but what if they also had the same awful feeling in private?



“Can I help you?”
Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this?
*lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*


[1st day as a Transformer]

GAS STATION ATTENDEE: And your total comes to $43,789.95

ME: (becomes a Decepticon)


Are iPads supposed to be red with two white knobs on the bottom?


*hits joint*
ahhh yes this is more like it, now I have no idea what’s going on.


You can blame those “meddling kids” all you want. But let’s face it. Your entire plan was to dress up like a ghost.


Nothing says “I’ve been going through your shit” like “why do you delete your browser history?”


”My intentions are not pure” I whisper as I put on yoga pants with no intention of doing yoga.


‘This guy’s an idiot’
-people who don’t know me

‘This guy’s an idiot’
-people who know me