I broke my finger yesterday. On the other hand, I’m okay.
Me: I don’t mind what you bring it on
You Might Also Like
My young nephew said that people with glasses should only be able to marry other people with glasses. He’s like a tiny Republican senator.
My wife must be the slowest reader ever.
I bought her a Kindle last Christmas and she still hasn’t finished it.
If people knew just how many fake arguments I win when I’m in the car by myself, they would think twice before ever picking a fight with me.
[watching any cowboy movie ever] i should buy a horse
I hate running into people I know at the Supermarket.
I’m looking for food, not a reunion.
A rap song where I’m just telling my dog about my day & I keep rhyming with “treats” so he stays interested.
My daughter has decided singing happy birthday to her is punishable by death
Sorry I’m late, there was a dad yelling at his teenage son for buying $90 jeans and I had to hear every word of it.
im no good at video games
“no one is at first just give it a shot”
*presses start and mario just sits down*