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@ArrogantBB8: *waits until you fall asleep*
*tests out his new retractable air horn*
@LittleMissAngr1: I walk in a zig zag to avoid sniper bullets and crocodiles. And because I am drunk.
@therealeatwood: CASHIER: Your total is $18.54
ME: A fine year!
CASHIER (WHO IS BLACK): Was it
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Me: Marijuana is good for my glaucoma.
She: But you don't have glaucoma.
@ilovepie84: This Teenage girl gave me attitude today so I called her the "Fattest Skinny person I have ever seen" that should confuse her for a while.